M Rated Parody
by Ree-Dur-Old
Summary: RWBY (M-rated) Parody.
1. Teams

Headmaster Ahztack of Caebon Academy, stood on stage, with a beer bottle in one hand, and a scroll in his other.

"J-jon Erk. Peer'a Knees. Snore'A Calorie. Lay Ran. Y'alls team... Team... JPSR?... Jopsar? What a dumb name."

"Rubie Rows. Wang Ciao-Wong. Yess Snorkel. Blurk Ol' Donald. Together you are RYBW, Ribu?"

Ahztack turned to his assistant, Minda Moodmitch, and said. "Min-Min, these name suck, who came up with them? I think I need to fire someone."

Minda shrugs nonchalantly, then says. "Maybe Steelbranch would know. Let's call him."

As they left, Rubie could be heard shouting. "The brother to the mother of my older half-sister, therefore my Uncle, will have his brain produce the chemicals that causes the sensation known as of emotions, those emotions will be of pride and joy towards the current circumstance regarding me!"


	2. Day one

On the first day of Caebon Academy, Yess Snorkel slept soundly in her bed.

Her eyes flutter for ten minutes, and she stretches her arms to the roof, while a naked Rubie Rows walks in front of her.

"It is a pleasant after-night, would not you use you lungs and vocal cords in unison to convey that sentiment?"

Yess climbs on the roof, "Uoy htiw gnorw si dlrow eht ni tahw?"

Rubie ignored the question, and instead says "In this current temporal location, on the subject belonging to you about the processing speeds of your brain waves, may you and I, as one unit, conduct our shared business of relation to the subject matter of academics?"

Yess blushed at the words, then asked. "Excuse me?"

Wang Ciao-Wong kick Yess to the floor, stands on top of her and shouts. "Where's my money, Bitch! Oops, wrong audio clip. Vandalizing!" She grabs a lamp and smashes it.

Blurk lifts her emtpy suitcase. "I'm ate me lunch, mum. Meow~."

{One montage later.}

Team RYBW stand in the hallway, their room was no longer on their plane of existence.

"Mummy, me go to cwrass. Meow~."

Jon erk walks out his room, coated in blood. "Swell idea ol' chap. _Lettuce_ walk there before we _cabbage_ trouble." He said.

As they walk down to their class. They all collectively trio over the drunk body of Ahztack.

They all take turns stomping on him, before walking away.

"Monsters! Deeeemons... Prowlers of the night! Yes, my wife has many names, but I merely refer to her as Bitch!" Porp-Porp says.

The members of RYBW are seated in the front row.

Blurk and Wang are having a staring contest, while fingering themselves. "Mum, I close. Meow~!" Blurk said.

Rubie is sitting on her neck, with her legs on the desk. Still naked.

"When you've been married as long I have, you learn that love is a lie. And that's where we come in, Prostitution is the number one way to preserve love. And you, the main characters, come up to the front of the class, for being late, you have to eat these cabbages." Porp-Porp said, reaching in his pockets, to produce five whole heads of cabbage.

"Ah, Kangaroos, I g'ass tat's wah we g'et far by'in tarts, m'ates." Jon says, as he walked down the steps.

"Meee-ow~." Blurk said.

{Break.}

 _Leave a review about your thoughts, or if you want to interact with me, then PM me, or check out my Forum._


	3. Cabbage Class

**Gods. I need to clarify that this is a sexual parody. It didn't start that way, but that damn Porp-Porp just had to get the ball rolling.**

All five main characters stood in front of the class, wearing their own signature bibs.

Rubie Rows had 'Pluck My Rosebud' written on hers.

Wang Ciao-Wong had 'I'll Ciao On Your Wong' written on hers.

Yess Snorkel just had 'Gobbler' written on hers.

Blurk Ol' Donald had 'Momma's Little Slut' written on hers.

"Hmmm, acceptable bibs Team RYBW." Porp-Porp said. Then he turned to the other team.

Jon Erk had a full body bib, it was white, he wore it over heavy duty black clothes, on his hands were rubber gloves, he had on goggles and a hair cap. His 'bib' wasn't even clean, there were splashes of red all over.

"...Mister Erk. I can't help but notice... Your team isn't here. What was it again? JO... JO's... I'm sure it was a Bizarre one... I forgot." Porp-Porp-Porp said.

"Can't say I remember them. Sir!" Jon said with a salute. "Are you positive they were real? Sir!"

"Maybe not."

Porp-Porp-Porp-Porp said, before shouting. "Alright! Let the eating... Start!"

Rubie swallowed the whole head of cabbage in one gulp.

Wang smashed it one the floor shouting "Vandalism!" Then she got on all fours and ate it.

Blurk ate it with her lower mouth.

Yess bit into hers, and revealed hers to be a bowling ball. "N-nani?!"

Jon winked at his cabbage, and by the laws of his fans, it immediately fell in love with him. They got drunk and married, then he also seduced other cabbages and started a polygamous relationship with them, but turned out one cabbage actually always loved him, and now that it has competition, it went insane and kill all the other cabbages, before killing itself for breaking Jau- I mean, Jon's heart. As Jon watched the cabbages die, he had one thought:

 _'All according to keikaku.'_

Back to the side characters of the hit web-series 'JAUNE', Yess was nibbling on half a bowling ball.

As Wang compared boobs with Porp-Porp-Porp-Porp-Porp.

Rubie was chatting about her parents to Blurk.

"Excuse me, Rubie."

"Huh? Yeah Blurk."

"I feel as if someone was too lazy to do something, do you know what it was?"

"Probably wasn't that important, they might just add something meta to acknowledge it, even if they agree meta jokes have a time and place and wherever they put it wasn't either."

"Okay, continue."

"Team SBRQ or S'Bark was compromised my mommy, Cummer Rows, I'm told she had the tightest push ever, even tighter than mine. My daddy, Bigwang Ciao-Wong, despite his name he doesn't have a big wang, it's huge! Like bigger than my leg! And it hurt like a bitch. My Uncle Qowk Bramqok, who was drunk most the time, so he kept calling me my mother's name whenever we hung out. Wang's mom, Ravagina Bramqok, who was wild in the sack, and a screamer, every night it's 'Harder Bigwang! Faster Qowk! Rougher Wang! Your just like your mom, Rubie!'"

Blurk remained silent for a moment, before. "You know, in the first draft 'Uncle Qowk' was actually 'Uncle Qow' and he shifted into a cow."

"What?"

"...Meow~" Blurk licked her pussy, then Rubie's.

{Line Break.}

Jon had sex with a girl.

{Line Break.}

"Rubie, I've gather cum, and put it in this coffee. Drink it."

Rubie couldn't speak due to Yess forcing her coffee down her throat.


	4. Bunny Gurl

Warning(s): Smut(?)

{Start.}

Losechester was kneeling down in front of Jon Erk, his face red from exhaustion, and embarrassment.

Jon stood proudly in the center of a the stage, as a Spotlight shone down on him.

In Jon's hands was his sword, his hard, unwavering sword.

His hard, unwavering, magnificent sword.

A sword that proved to be better than Losechester's mace.

For losing the bout, Losechester had to lick the stage clean of his emission.

Before Losechester could get back up, Jaune brought his Length down upon Losechester head.

As soon as the heads make contact, a muffled buzzer rings and the lights come on.

"T-that's e-enough," Minda MoodMitch says, "Everyone leave, Jon, come into my honeypot."

As everyone leaves, Jon walks into a giant honeypot, Minda is sitting on her desk, the muffled buzzing could still be heard. "Do you know why I wanted to speak to you."

Jon shakes his head.

"You see, I couldn't help but notice your sword looked like it could use a sheath."

And so Jon aligned his sword to the entrance of Minda's sheath, after about an hour later, Jon added more honey to Minda's honeypot.

While Jon was leaving, Min-Min gave him some parting words.

"Be careful Jon, those new Grimm evolution could find to a way to use your **_MASSIVE_** Sword against all of Ram'It."

Jon nodded.

{Line Break.}

Jon walks into the cafeteria, as he passes Losechester, he sees what Losechester is looking at, a bunny girl.

Jon looks back to Losechester, he sees the slight blush on his cheeks, and the dazed gazed in his eyes.

Jon suavely slides in the seat next to his target.

Losechester flinches from being two close 2 **_GOD_** , Erm I mean Jon.

"Heyyy, buddyyy." Jon whispers as he swings an arm around Losechester.

"W-what do you want?"

Jon slowly raised his black painted nails and cracks a finger like a Badass, the whole cafeteria applauds at how badass it was.

"What was that?" Jon asked, his voice clearly audible, even though his leader gimp mask and the white bone mask from his inner hollow.

"W-w-w-what c-c-can I d-do to-o appease you, master loud super king Lord." Losechester says as he pisses himself.

"You see the girl?" Jon points to the bunny girl.

"Yeaaaa..." Losechester says with a dreamy sigh.

"She's a total masochist, and a Slut, just go over there and start harassing her, before you know it, she'll be getting fucked like the animal she is." Jon whispers.

"W-" Losechester's questions died from a single glare.

Losechester walk over to the bunny girl and pulled an ear.

Jon ate his lunch, then walked over to Losechester.

He gripped Losechester's wrist, and ripped of his arm, then he dropped kicked him across the school.

"Nobody messes with cute and fuckable girls while I'm around."

A-and then, like the WHOLE room clapped and clapped befauze it was really really super epic.

"Oi, Shrimp my Barbie!" Bunny girl screamed.

Jon lifted the girl up, and took her to where he kicked Losechester.

Just as Losechester awoke from his coma.

Bunny gurl was on her knees with her lips around the tip of Jon's cock, her hands were slowly stroking the exposed part of his shaft, as she slowly swallowed his thick rod.

She barely had half of it in her throat, but there was a visible bluge from where his member was in her gullet.

Jon gripped the girl's Bunny ears, and rammed the rest of his cock down her tight airpipe.

She made sexual gagging and choking sounds.

All while Losechester watched with tears in his eyes.

Jon didn't feel like killing her right now, so he pulled out, and like a dam bursting.

Bunny girl got soaked in a white, sticky, creamy, tasty, Sprog.

Coughing to clear her throat, bunny girl eventually spoke "Enjoy'd my gobby, did'ya?"

Hopping to her feet, she pushed Jon onto a clean slab of concrete, and kissed the tip of his cock with her lower lips, before engulfing it completely.

"Ah-h! A-Ah! Yeah-h, bugger up my insides." Bunny gurl said as she placed her hands on Jon's chest and planted her feet on opposite sides of his body and slowly lifted herself up, then she slammed back down.

She repeated the action until her insides knew what was happening, she kept performing bunny hops until she came.

Losechester dropped out of Beacon to go work at Mirco and Soft.

{End.}

My first attempt at smut, and it's a joke, ha.

Okay, Jaundice is over.


End file.
